It’s actually very hard to judge the severity of a disaster in Metropolis because, obviously, that’s Superman’s town and he tends to turn stuff around pretty efficiently. The people of Metropolis have this meme called “The Lois Lane Tank Top Disaster Index” which functions similarly to the “Is Anderson Cooper in a tight black t-shirt” disaster index. It’s actually a surprisingly accurate indicator of how far things have gone to shit.
Lois Lane is in her full cool reporter outfit: We’re fine. Supes has this handled.
Lois Lane has ditched her jacket at some point: Okay so this guy’s actually knocking Supes around pretty hard, but Supes is getting some decent punches in. Be wary of falling rubble and glass.
Lois Lane has that Jurassic park look going where you have the open dress shirt over the tank top: Oh man Supes is taking a beating. Kryptonite or magic might be involved. We may be seeing backup from the Justice League, which like, be prepared because you never know what that’s going to look like.
Lois Lane is in a tank top: Oh god we’re so fucked get out of the city.
Flashback to The Woman That Fell to Earth!
I appreciated the parallel. “Let me acknowledge this drastic change, marvel at the strangeness, and then move on! “
The Church on Ruby Road // The Snowmen
“I’ve got to send Jodie this,” he says, gleefully. “I’m texting her and sending her pictures, because obviously she isn’t here, but she’s my mate, and we’ve got her on a screen to line me up…”
— Extract from DWM Issue 584
Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence
Northern Cardinal, 4/10
I’m sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I’m pretty sure they’re just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn’t agree to participate in your kink, guys.
American Robin, 1/10
Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.
House Sparrow, 10/10
You’re a gang. You’re participating in gang violence. There’s ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it’s been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?
Tufted Titmouse, 1/10
A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor’s garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.
European Starling, 9/10
Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it’s always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you’re an innocent bystander defending yourself. I’m onto you.
Carolina Wren, 3/10
This rating is not for physical violence, which you don’t engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they’re fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don’t have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.
Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10
If this were “birds who think they’re better than everyone else,” you’d get 10/10.
Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10
It’s a utility pole. It’s not a tree. You’re surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.
American Crow, unrated
For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you’re right. None of my business.
Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10
Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.
Stay tuned for more criminal activity!
(continued)
Common Grackle, 7/10
La Famiglia does not suffer you to stop in our neighborhood long, and I trust their judgement in this manner. You have the look of a guilty bird.
Tennessee Warbler, 2/10
You keep to yourselves, and I respect that. I get the sense that you could defend yourselves if it came to it, though.
Brown-Headed Cowbird, 3/10
You’re not a crow, and eventually they ARE going to figure it out, kiddo.
Gray Catbird, 5/10
Would you. Respectfully. Would you shut the FUCK UP.
Eurasian Collared-Dove, 0/10
You’re doing great, sweetie, everyone loves you.
Red-Breasted Nuthatch, 4/10
A comedian. A little jester of a bird. You’re so silly. Sure sometimes you incite violence in others but, really, is that your fault? If it is, we forgive you.
Blue Jay, 12/10
If you could learn any human behavior you wanted, it would be how to build a bomb.
Honorable mention:
Turkey Vulture, 5/10
You weren’t in my backyard, but you WERE eating roadkill in the street in my neighborhood. I know the animal was already dead when you got there, but you get violence points for frightening the small children that walked past you. Incredible work.
This is why Tumblr is good.
You know what I love? How Doctor Who used arguably the most popular Doctor (who regenerated into a brand new suit, of course, because blech woman Doctor and her womanly suspenders and high-wasted pants) and the most beloved companion to carry out the most convoluted, nonsensical plot line that has ever accompanied a regeneration to ease the Real fans into another PC Doctor that the new fake fans would love.
I mean, expecting Fans to tolerate going from one marginalized version of the Doctor to another marginalized version of the Doctor with no palate cleanser is frankly untenable. Thank the lord that they didn’t actually get rid of Ten. At least there’s still a real Doctor roaming the universe.
(And don’t whine, fake fans. There was a trans person in the special, Ten acknowledged that Thirteen existed, and even has some of her specific traits now! It’s not like they ignored that she existed. Appreciate the gifts and move on.)
I really appreciate your criticism, you’re absolutely right. But I did read an interview with Russel T. Davies, who said that he didn’t want to show a man in woman’s clothes and have anyone see it as a punchline, in light of the state of trans rights. He did think about it, and he chose the path he thought would be least harmful.
Thank you for responding!
I read that as well! My problem is that, while he may have been honest in his attempt to be respectful, his actions ultimately weakened the message that a female regeneration was (according to the showrunners themselves) meant to send: the Doctor, as a whole, is not gendered. They adapt to the face and the body of each regeneration on an individual level, and identify as such.
This has always been true in every other regard (See: Twelve grumpily referencing Eleven’s youthful looks and personality), and - almost immediately - we were shown that gender was going to be just another change: Thirteen immediately identifies as female, waves off her confusion by stating that “half an hour ago I was a white-haired Scotsman,” and proceeds give that change less weight than the fact that she almost miscalculated a jump because of her new height (“These legs definitely used to be longer.”).
It was perfect. Made it very clear.
You know what I love? How Doctor Who used arguably the most popular Doctor (who regenerated into a brand new suit, of course, because blech woman Doctor and her womanly suspenders and high-wasted pants) and the most beloved companion to carry out the most convoluted, nonsensical plot line that has ever accompanied a regeneration to ease the Real fans into another PC Doctor that the new fake fans would love.
I mean, expecting Fans to tolerate going from one marginalized version of the Doctor to another marginalized version of the Doctor with no palate cleanser is frankly untenable. Thank the lord that they didn’t actually get rid of Ten. At least there’s still a real Doctor roaming the universe.
(And don’t whine, fake fans. There was a trans person in the special, Ten acknowledged that Thirteen existed, and even has some of her specific traits now! It’s not like they ignored that she existed. Appreciate the gifts and move on.)